


Prickly Perfect

by trashsshi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crushes, First Dates, Fluff, M/M, MAMA Era Powers (EXO), Twilight References, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24250774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashsshi/pseuds/trashsshi
Summary: “Did you know that there are bunny succulents? Like conjoined cacti,” says Luhan.Junmyeon nods. “I’ve raised a few.”
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Lu Han
Comments: 10
Kudos: 22





	Prickly Perfect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zvirk77](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zvirk77/gifts).



“That’s kind of like Twilight,” says Tao. He absentmindedly plays with the little hourglass that hangs from a chain on his neck while Luhan tries not to feel mildly outraged.

“No, it isn’t,” Luhan argues, “This is completely different. I have a very gay crush on him, for one-”

“There was palpable homoerotic tension between Edward and Jacob in the books, and the references to Romeo and Juliet-”

“Romeo and Juliet is as hetero as they come, and Bella is obviously supposed to stand for Juliet, with how Edward thought she was dead and tried to kill himself by provoking the Volturi-”

“Romeo and Juliet is about forbidden love and  _ family feuds,”  _ says Tao. He proceeds to make his case to Luhan: that Stephenie Meyer wanted to write about Edward and Jacob all along but lacked the courage or the self-awareness, which is why Bella is such a bland character, she is little more than a narratorial voice. Luhan only half-listens to his literary tirade and still doesn’t agree with him at the end of it.

“Okay look,” says Luhan, making a  _ hear-me-out _ gesture with his palms in front of his chest. “Edward could read humans’ minds and Jacob could read his pack’s mind but neither could read each others’ minds. But that still didn’t make them obsessed with each other the way Edward became with Bella when he found he couldn’t read her mind. Of course her blood had a role to play too. And her looks, I suppose. But it’s still way different from what’s happening to me!” Luhan would like to believe he is a lot more complex than a Twilight character. He would also like to believe that his crush on Junmyeon is not just him feeling enticed and intrigued because Junmyeon seems enigmatic because he can’t read Junmyeon’s mind. Luhan can’t be so hung up on him because of idle curiosity, surely.

The rest of their conversation passes in discussing how divorced Stephenie Meyer’s vampires and werewolves are from the vampires and werewolves of reality. It’s just as well. Luhan decides his inability to hear Junmyeon’s thoughts, the reasons and the implications, are best for him to grapple with alone.

Luhan doesn’t hear thoughts in a steady stream or constant hubbub. It’s more a matter of tuning in and tuning out, thankfully. But no matter how he tries to push into Junmyeon’s mind, all he hears is insurmountable, impenetrable silence.

Junmyeon is a fairly ordinary human otherwise. He shares many of Luhan’s classes, and is a straight-A student. Luhan runs into him while shopping, and Junmyeon generally has his cart filled with cans of stewed fruit, Greek yoghurt, granola, berry preserves- evidently he has a sweet tooth crossed with some kind of health consciousness. Actually, the only time Luhan was able to talk to him was the time he ran into him in the canned/jarred aisle and they both reached for the last jar of Spiced Apple Preserve at the same time.

Luhan snatched his fingers back as though they’d been burnt the moment his fingers touched Junmyeon’s. “Uh- you can have it,” he said, his voice sounding off, as though he had a cold, or something stuck in his throat.

“Oh, no, you take it please,” said Junmyeon, widening his lovely eyes. His appearance was soft and manly. So was his voice. While Luhan was in his sweatpants, Junmyeon still had on the button-down he wore to class that day, and Luhan didn’t know why the embroidered carrots on the collar and cuffs made his heart squeeze, but they did.

“I was just gonna look at it,” said Luhan, shifting from one foot to the other. “Like, I just whip up some applesauce at home and I wanted to see how different this is- obviously it’s preserve so it’s different- I wanted to check the ingredients list. That’s all. I don’t even want it, like, to eat.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” said Luhan, nodding vigorously. 

“Apples, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, juice of lemons,” Junmyeon read out from the label at the back.

“Uh, thanks. It’s definitely different from applesauce.” Luhan laughed nervously.

“It’s great with cheese,” said Junmyeon. “The stronger the cheese, the better.”

“Nice.”

“Stewed pears with goat cheese are my favourite, but this is my second favourite. This, with fontina cheese.”

“Cool.” Luhan winced internally. Here Junmyeon was saying detailed things and he wanted to say detailed things in return, have an engaging conversation. He wanted Junmyeon’s impression of him to be ‘easy to talk to’ but he couldn’t think of anything interesting to say.

“Well,” Junmyeon smiled again, and Luhan’s stomach flipped. “Won’t keep you away from your shopping. See you in class!”

“In class, yeah,” nodded Luhan, and as Junmyeon wheeled his cart away, “Uh, bye! See you around.”

Luhan narrated the encounter frame by frame to Tao and Jongin. Jongin listened patiently while Tao fast-forwarded through time the whole time, playing Luhan’s narration at two times the speed as a result. At the end of it Luhan bemoaned over and over how he embarrassed himself and couldn’t hold a conversation with his crush. Tao commisserated with him, told him it probably wasn’t as awkward as he thought he was, and although Jongin agreed with him Luhan could hear Jongin’s thoughts yelling at him:  _ He mentioned cheeses! You could’ve mentioned wine! And if he said he liked wine you could’ve invited him over for wine and cheese! That screams romantic date! The opportunity was right there in front of you! _ Luhan could have tuned out, but he didn’t. The self-pity didn’t quite overpower the self-flagellation, and he really wanted to punish himself right then.

Luhan deals with it better now, though. Not with his crush, or with the fact that he can’t read his crush’s mind, but with the fact that he probably will never speak to Junmyeon again. He’s not being dramatic. He’s sure they have more of a chance to end up together if he doesn’t try to make a conversation with Junmyeon, because if he  _ does _ try to make conversation with Junmyeon he’s sure to ruin it.

When Jongin tells him that Junmyeon’s birthday is coming up, Luhan decides that his chance has arrived, to do something a lot less embarrassing than talking to him: specifically, baking something and leaving a letter written on fancy notepaper on Junmyeon’s desk where he pours out his big dumb crush feelings. So that’s what he does- on the big day, he leaves a box of caramel cookies (they turned out well and that’s a good omen) on Junmyeon’s desk. Under the box, hidden away from prying eyes, is an envelope sealed with a pizza sticker. He wrote his big dumb crush feelings on notepaper patterned with pizza and fries. He wasn’t sure what kind of cute stationery Junmyeon would like- well, Junmyeon had a bunny binder in which the protruding dividers were little bunny faces with the subject written on their long ears- but if he also uses bunny stationery he might come off as creepy. As though he’s been watching Junmyeon or something. So he settled for pizza and fries because he figures everyone likes pizza and fries.

He doesn’t think too closely about what he’d written in the letter, because that’d just leave him second-guessing into eternity. 

_ Happy Birthday, Junmyeon! You’re really cute. I have a crush on you. Sincerely, Luhan. _

Tao freezes time for him so that he can go put the cookies and the letter on Junmyeon’s table without anyone noticing. Luhan goes back to his seat and then Tao sets time flowing again.

Junmyeon comes to his desk, his bunny binder hugged to his chest and his backpack dangling off one shoulder. “Who put these here?”

Jongin, who has the desk next to Junmyeon’s, looks around with his eyes tiny behind his round glasses. “I don’t know. One moment they were here, and the next moment-” he thinks for a moment. “They were still here.”

“What?”

“They just appeared here,” says Jongin, going back to his books.

Junmyeon sets his backpack down next to his seat and his binder on his seat. Luhan’s heart thuds wildly as he watches Junmyeon pick up the box of cookies, and then the letter under it. He thinks he’ll pass out when Junmyeon opens the letter. It doesn’t take long for Junmyeon to read it though, and then he turns and smiles straight at Luhan where he’s sitting a few desks away.

For a moment Luhan is just dazzled, then he smiles dopily back.

  
  
  


A few days later, Junmyeon joins Luhan as he’s walking to class. “Hey, will you go out with me?”

“What?” Luhan nearly stumbles. “Yeah! Um. Like a date?”

“Like a date,” Junmyeon confirms with a twinkle. 

Luhan schedules an emergency meeting with Tao. (Jongin has a test the next day, so he bailed on them.) They sit in Luhan’s living room, with a six-pack of beer and the honey chilli chicken that Tao brought over like the best friend that he is. “Junmyeon asked me out on a date,” says Luhan, sounding immensely cool, as though he doesn’t want to jump on the couch, take off his shirt and whip it around to general applause.

“Wow,” says Tao. “Congratulations.” He blinks expectantly at Luhan.

“Thank you,” says Luhan, “I couldn’t have managed it without you.” Tao smiles at him, satisfied.

“So we’re going on a picnic, and I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“You won’t,” says Tao. “Just be yourself and have fun.” Luhan thinks Tao is being way too optimistic. Going on a date with Junmyeon will involve talking to him. How is he going to do it?

“What if I  _ do _ fuck it up?”

“Well if you’re serious about him,” Tao continues, “you’ll have to give full disclosure that you’re a witch, for one.”

Luhan gapes at him. “He probably doesn’t even believe witches exist!”

“You’ll have to break it to him that actually, they do.”

Luhan knows that he can’t keep something of that magnitude from the person he likes, not for long; but he also thinks this is thinking too far ahead. For now, all he has to worry about is a first date and how to turn it into a second one.

On the big day, Luhan wears his favourite snapback, and a plaid shirt with a t-shirt inside. He had debated wearing a button-down but he doesn’t want to overdress for a picnic date. 

Junmyeon texted him his address, and Luhan goes to meet him outside his house. As soon as Luhan calls him, Junmyeon opens the door and smiles at him, walking down the steps. Luhan didn’t take anyone to prom in his high school year but he wondered whether he’d have felt like this seeing his date cross a few steps of driveway to put his hand in his.

Junmyeon’s hand is small in his. Junmyeon is wearing a fluffy little t-shirt that hugs his waist, and his watch has a bunny dial. The bunny’s whiskers are the moving hands of the clock. Luhan feels floaty.

“You look great,” says Junmyeon casually.

“Thanks.” Luhan clears his throat. “You- look really cute.”

It’s a sunny day, and they walk to the waterfall, which is where they’re going to picnic. Luhan hasn’t been to see the waterfall since elementary school when his class was taken to it for a school trip. Their teacher had had his hands full trying to make sure the overexcitable children didn’t try to wade through the waterfall and enter the cave that was rumoured to be behind the waterfall. In fact, they weren’t allowed to approach the water at all.

Luhan tells this to Junmyeon, and Junmyeon says, “That’s adorable.”

“I was so curious about what was behind the waterfall, but after that trip was over I never thought about it again.”

“You’re thinking about it now, though,” says Junmyeon. “Maybe we can find out today. What’s behind the waterfall.”

When they arrive, it’s a more beautiful spot than Luhan remembered. The gush of the waterfall is not as loud as he expected, however there is no space to spread out the picnic blanket and sit without squashing a few wildflowers.

“I don’t want to trample them,” says Luhan, looking at them sadly where they dot the grass like bright little craft cutouts. Junmyeon gives him a soft, fond look that has his cheeks heating up. Then Junmyeon crouches and picks the flowers in their seating area. He fills the cup-like cap of his flask with water from the waterfall, then he sets the flowers floating in it. He places this makeshift vase carefully on a tree stump.

“They’ll still die, of course but isn’t this better?” says Junmyeon.

“It’s lovely,” says Luhan, although he can’t ask the flowers for their opinion, or read their minds. They have the lemonade directly from the flask, and Luhan tries not to dwell on how they’re indirectly kissing. He’s not that juvenile, even if his reddening ears yell otherwise.

Luhan helps Junmyeon with arranging the picnic. They’ve each brought sandwiches: Luhan’s are egg salad sandwiches with green onions and dill; Junmyeon’s are fig and olive tapenade with cream cheese. Luhan has also brought slices of fluffy lemon cake; he has been increasingly interested in baking since his confession to Junmyeon with homemade caramel cookies.

Junmyeon goes “Mmmm,” one bite into his cake slice, giving Luhan a thumbs up with the hand that isn’t holding the slice, and Luhan feels his chest expand with more of that airy, floaty feeling that has been following him around with Junmyeon today. Junmyeon tells him about how he spent his birthday: he didn’t call any friends over, he celebrated with just his family and they gifted him a bullet journal. “It’s what they give me every year,” says Junmyeon, munching happily. He says he’ll show his bullet journals to Luhan sometime: he doodles animals and succulents all over them and he’s really happy with how he has designed the pages.

“Did you know that there are bunny succulents? Like conjoined cacti,” says Luhan.

Junmyeon nods. “I’ve raised a few.”

They drink their lemonade in silence for a while. Then Junmyeon says, “Want to check out what’s behind the waterfall?”

“Uh, sure,” says Luhan nervously. The water is shallow enough to wade through but he’d ruin his jeans, and he doesn’t want to take his pants off on the first date. And then the waterfall would drench him from head to toe if he passed through it. He doesn’t want to take his clothes off on the first date.

Junmyeon walks over to the edge of the water, then crouches down and lets his fingers trail ripples. Luhan goes to stand next to him.

Then the water arcs up into two waves and divides in the middle, leaving a path in the middle with walls of water on either side. Luhan stares at the riverbed, with its sand and smooth pebbles, dumbstruck. Then the waterfall divides too, parting like curtains, and Luhan sees that there really is a cave on the other side.

Junmyeon steps onto the path and offers his hand to Luhan.

Luhan takes it dumbly, and then they’re walking towards the cave, the fish in the water walls watching their progress. Once they’re in the mouth of the cave Luhan bursts out, “What the fuck just happened?”

For the first time, Junmyeon looks nervous. “There’s something I have to tell you. I don’t know if it would have been better to tell you first instead of showing you, but I thought if I told you I was a witch without showing you magic first you’d think I was crazy and that I’d brought you out to the woods to bury your body or something. So I had to prove to you first that I wasn’t crazy.”

Luhan blinks.

Junmyeon continues, his soft voice wobbling, “So anyway, I’m a witch. I know it’s hard to believe, but you just saw the proof. So yeah, witches are real and… if you’d rather just,” Junmyeon swallows, “date someone normal I’ll understand. I mean you thought I was an ordinary human like you when you decided you had a crush on me, so… if you feel differently now, I completely understand.”

“Wait.” Luhan’s mind is either whirring feverishly. “I’m not an ordinary human.  _ You’re a witch _ ?”

“An elemental witch,” nods Junmyeon. “I work with water. As… as you saw.”

“I’m a psychical witch!” Luhan nearly shouts. “I can read human minds! I can’t read yours though.”

“Right, because I’m a witch,” Junmyeon smiles, so big. “You’re a witch?”

“A psychical witch!” shouts Luhan, taking Junmyeon’s hands in his. Junmyeon’s smile is so, so wide, and Luhan kisses him while he’s still holding that smile. The cave curves over their heads, a lovers’ arch; that’s the analogy in Luhan’s imagination. Luhan also imagines that whenever they want some private time they can come here; the waterfall hides them from prying eyes. They’ve found their spot.

Junmyeon rescues the wildflowers from the makeshift vase on the way back. He says he’ll dry them and press them between the pages of his bullet journal. They’ll be souvenirs, keepsakes. 

“I had a really nice time,” he says, holding the wildflowers gently in his hands while Luhan carries the picnic things. 

“Me too,” says Luhan.

Jongin and Tao, who are eagerly waiting for details, get to hear all about how while other couples (ordinary human couples, probably) find themselves kissing rocks, this witchy couple has found themselves a kissing cave; yes Junmyeon is a witch too; and he said he had a really nice time and they’re going for a second date and Junmyeon is keeping a souvenir from the first date because that’s how well it went and wow. Luhan isn’t afraid of fucking it up anymore. That floaty feeling is still there, and it’s even floatier after a dose of confidence.

“I mean if I’m still friends with you after knowing you’re a witch like why wouldn’t he date you after knowing you’re witch, you know, but I was still a little nervous for you not going to lie but this is perfect!” babbles Jongin.

“I’m so happy, bro,” says Luhan tearfully. It’s his first time having a boyfriend, although he has made out with people at parties in the past; excuse him for being a little emotional.

“I’m so happy for you, bro,” groans Tao, hugging Luhan. Jongin pats his back while he bawls happily, “H-he raises cacti, Tao, isn’t he perfect?”

“Prickly perfect,” agrees Tao. Jongin’s thoughts go  _ that’s so funny _ and  _ Luhan should’ve asked Junmyeon if he can keep some of the wildflowers too, or at least like a leaf or something. Did Junmyeon literally say _ I’ll keep some souvenirs  _ and Luhan literally go _ okay keep them?  _ What if Junmyeon thinks the date wasn’t as memorable to him- _

“Fuck,” mutters Luhan, pushing Tao away to rush to his phone. 

A brief phone call later, Junmyeon confirms that yes, he made it home safe, because Luhan walked him home after all, and yes, he was planning to give Luhan some of the flowers anyway, but apart from preserving a couple of the flowers in his journal he wanted to make resin jewellery with the rest. “We could wear them like couple jewellery… am I coming on too strong?”

Luhan scoffs and waves his hand vigorously at the wall. “Too strong? Psh. Not at all. We’re like, boyfriends now. Of course we can wear couple jewellery!” The triumphant floatiness is back, full force. Luhan decides he’s going to tune Jongin’s thoughts out as a matter of principle and simply submerge himself in this newfound elation. Jongin means well, bless him, but he’s a virgin (Luhan is too, but that’s irrelevant). 

**Author's Note:**

> junmyeon makes me soft  
> i have a [twitter](https://twitter.com/trashsshi). talk to me there? ♡♡  
> 


End file.
